How To Get Over A Breakup, The Best Way


Two days ago, a random video popped up on my Youtube feed from one of my favorite YouTubers talking about how to get over a breakup.

Given that I’ve been through several breakups in the past, I was expecting to relate to the video. I was excited to listen to what this YouTuber had to say, but unfortunately, I felt slightly disappointed a few minutes into the video.

I was disappointed because she had just broken up with her boyfriend two days before posting the video. And to think she already had the wisdom to help other people get over their breakups while still dealing with hers was pretty baffling.

To sum it up, I ended up watching a grown woman who just happened to be very bitter about her ex and felt the need to give terrible counsel to others based on her frustration.

Honestly, it wasn’t surprising as I see this happening quite often, especially on social media. We get hurt, and instead of taking the time to process the grief, we make a video about it to get others to share in our frustration, not knowing that at the end of the day, what we are doing is causing more hurt to ourselves than healing.

I believe that if this YouTuber had given herself enough time to heal and genuinely recover, she would have been in a better position to provide sound wisdom to those who genuinely need it. But due to her circumstances and the inability to fully process her emotions, it ended up being the complete opposite.

Her video inspired me to write this post because I believe there are people out there who are genuinely looking for healing—not from a place of anger or bitterness—but a place of wholeness.

How to stop being sad after a breakup

I wish I could tell you that to stop being sad after a breakup, you need to take 5 inches off your hair and shack up with every good-looking individual you come across. But I will be lying to you.

Because the truth is, there is no shortcut way to stop being sad after a breakup. It’s called a breakup for a reason. And if anything, it is meant to make you unhappy.

Thus, I recommend that instead of looking to stop being sad, try to find ways to embrace the sadness.

You see, pain is there to refine you, not necessarily break you. But if you see it as something set to destroy you, you will unwittingly miss the benefits of the pain.

The person you’re sad about served a purpose in your life, and it is up to you to put on your genius glasses to see the wisdom.

Did they make you realize that you need to be stronger? Did they show you a part of yourself that you never knew? Or perhaps they taught you to love better or be more vulnerable with your emotions?

Whatever their purpose was, try to discover it and learn from it. It is the only way you will indeed start to heal and stop being sad.

How to get over a breakup

Now that that’s out of the way let’s discuss ways to get over a breakup. First, understand that some of these steps take a few days or several months to start seeing results. Unfortunately, there is no exact say in how long it will take, as many people handle grief differently. However, it is essential that you start to implement some of these strategies to ease the heartache you’re currently experiencing.

1. Let go of resentment.

Resentment often develops when we are in pain, sometimes as a coping mechanism. It is easier for us to embrace anger and resentment than it is for us to embrace discomfort, especially given that pain often requires vulnerability, and we would instead appear strong rather than look weak. However, one thing that you may not realize is that holding on to resentment and anger only slows down your healing process.

To truly heal after a breakup, you need to open your heart and be vulnerable. Cry as much as you need to, and don’t distract yourself by relying on drugs, food, or alcohol to numb the pain. Instead, understand that crying is therapeutic. So, give yourself enough space to grieve.

2. Do a self-reflection

As humans, we usually tend to view ourselves as good people. But the truth is, no one really is “good,” and we are all messed up differently. Therefore, it is vital that you do some self-reflection and try to find the areas in which you perhaps fell short during the relationship. Now will be a great time to start journaling to understand your strengths and weaknesses.

3. Embrace self-love

You are indispensable, valuable to the world, and loved by way more people than you know. And a breakup should never make you doubt it. Therefore, it is essential that you maintain or develop self-love by holding on to this truth.

Understand that you will meet someone new again and perhaps even fall madly in love again. So, embrace self-love by knowing you can still give and receive love.

4. Give yourself time

Heard the phrase “Time heals all wounds”? Frankly, that phrase couldn’t be more accurate. There is no set time for how long it will take for you to get over a breakup. For some, it can take as quickly as a month, while for others, it could take several months or even years. Regardless of how long it takes, it is vital that you at least give yourself enough time to heal.

Healing is a marathon, not a sprint. One moment you might feel over your ex, never needing to speak to the person again. And the next, you’re drowning in tears, wondering if you should give them a call. It is important to note that this is also part of the healing process. So don’t beat yourself up if you suddenly find yourself slipping back into old patterns.

5. Pick up a new hobby

Seasons of grief often lead us to a new purpose. Therefore, during this time, I recommend picking up a new hobby or activity to take your mind off the pain. Now will be the perfect time to start writing that book you’ve been putting off for so long or launching that business you’ve contemplated starting. The goal is to keep yourself preoccupied with work that brings a sense of fulfillment, so get busy.

 

In conclusion, breakups are part of the journey of life. It is there to help you grow. Therefore, embrace this new journey of self-discovery and know that you will eventually heal.

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Author: Eleanor Ajoku Henry

Hi! I'm Eleanor (Elley for short), and I'm a blogger and Podcaster. You can find me sharing my favorite recipes, travel adventures, and tips to inspire others to live their best lives.

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