I grew up in a Christian home with both parents being close followers of Christ. Since my parents were Christians, I sort of was into it (but in all honesty, I wasn’t a true believer).
However, when I migrated to the US, things started to change. After going through one trial after another, I began to question things and just got completely frustrated.
I assumed God hated me and removed all the things I wanted to remain in my life, so I slowly started to drift away from Him.
The more I started to drift off and focus more on the things of the world, life just got even worse.
I still assumed God was making things worse for me, simply because he disliked me, without knowing that he was doing all these things to bring me closer to Him and the life He has ordained for me.
So on my journey towards focusing more on the world, I got sucked into the New age movement (without knowing) by listening and reading Law of Attraction books. I’m not going to discuss this on my blog, but if you’re curious about it, I’d definitely tell you to just not bother checking it out, as it is satanic (I actually didn’t know) and isn’t of God.
Knowing now that Satan is so good at disguising himself as being of the “light” and King at deception, I got easily sucked into it, thinking that God was finally not being mean to me, because apparently, somethings started to work out in my favour.
However, when things got bad, I started to blame myself, thinking that I wasn’t doing something right. And the more I blamed myself, the more I just became depressed.
I basically was sinning, thinking that I was on the right path, without knowing that I was completely on the wrong path.
So this continued for a while, and the more I went on with it, the more it literally continued to ruin my life.
I wasn’t praying as much as I used to. In fact, I considered praying as asking God for too much. The Bible became something I questioned a lot, and the devil kept bringing more sinners into my life to convince me that some of the things in my Bible were false as well.
Even though I questioned a lot in the Bible, some part of me still saw a lot of TRUTH in it.
I slowly started to drift away from Christians as I assumed a lot of them were quite judgemental. I even went as far as arguing with most of my Christian friends about the concepts of the Bible, which led to me completely separating myself from them.
Thankfully, as much as I tried to give up on them, they didn’t give up on me– but instead continued to pray that I would get closer to God.
As time went on, I fell into the concept of meditation and yoga, without knowing that such practice was unhealthy and not of God. I literally felt like I was doing something right, although a huge part of me felt quite void.
Then one day, during my misery period, I asked God to show me the right path. I remember just crying and asking God for what was right and what was wrong because I was extremely confused about so many things. I literally asked God for a sign and a way out of my troubles, so that I didn’t continue living a life of sin (thinking I was on the right path).
And before I could say butterscotch, I stumbled across a video on youtube talking about the truth. This whole time I thought that I was awakened to something new, I was literally just asleep.
I blocked and removed every book or information about Law of attraction and literally just fell on my knees and started calling on Jesus.
I prayed like I had never prayed before, and kept calling on God.
And for the first time, I really felt the presence of Jesus. I cried so much, I couldn’t help but continue crying. Knowing that he loved me so much to show me a way out of this misconception was what kept the tears flowing.
I didn’t feel afraid anymore and I just felt peace. The heartache I was going through and just about everything faded off so quickly. I became thankful and more understanding, instead of beating myself up for things that went wrong in the past.
I’ve become so close to God since then, and I literally can’t see myself drifting away any longer.
If you’re reading this and you are depressed, or sad, or you just feel like nothing seems to be going in your favor, I strongly advise you to submit yourself to the Lord (James 4:7).
God has so much more in store for you, that you shouldn’t have to worry about or focus on what went wrong. Instead, repent and trust in Him and He would begin to make a way when you can’t even see it.
God’s love is so unconditional, that sometimes I feel bad for taking Him for granted. However, knowing that he loves us so much and doesn’t want to see our souls being given to the devil is just enough reason to not take Him for granted.
I hope to continue to write more posts like this and bring you guys on this new journey with Christ.
Till next time,