How To Love Yourself To Attract Positivity In 5 Major Steps

How To Love Yourself To Attract Positivity In 5 Major Steps

Figuring how to love yourself first can be a difficult journey for a lot of people. It isn’t something that can happen overnight, but rather, something that takes time, experience and determination.

If you’re currently on the journey to finding self-love (since you’re reading this post), then you should be very proud of yourself, because as uneasy as it can be at first, it is most certainly rewarding in the long run.

I embarked on the self-love road a couple months back after going through a very difficult situation. At first, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I was lacking self-love, but as soon as I accepted the fact that I didn’t know how to love myself enough, things started to change.

There are a ton of blog posts and articles out there that can guide you on your journey to finding self-love, however, I do find that not all of the key points in those articles work for everyone.

That’s why I decided to make this post to show you guys 5 major key things to know and do when learning to love yourself. I personally followed these steps through my journey, and it has been very rewarding for me.

The 5 Major steps to take to love yourself again:

  1. Know who you are
  2. Love being alone
  3. Be less of a giver
  4. Learn to let-go
  5. Enjoy doing what you love

Now lets elaborate on each point to give you a clearer picture of why it is so important to follow the bullet points listed.

  • Know Who You Are: 

This is the first and most IMPORTANT step to be very aware of when finding self-love.

If you don’t know who you are, how are you supposed to love yourself?

It is important that you truly get to understand yourself and know your strengths as well as your weaknesses so that you can always stay true to who you really are.

During this process, it is also important that you do not rely on other people’s opinions in regards to who you are. Don’t let friends or family members be the judge of your character, but yourself. Keep in mind that people would always have their personal opinions of your personality, but it’s important that you don’t let their opinions define you.

Forgive who you are: 

You’re definitely not a perfect person, and will never be a perfect person, so forgive yourself for that. Also forgive yourself for past hurts and mistakes, and areas where you weren’t being your utmost and true self. In addition, forgive yourself for not loving yourself enough, so that when you finally learn to, you would appreciate how far you’ve come.

Accept who you are:

Acceptance comes after forgiveness, so be sure to accept that certain things about yourself cannot be changed, but only left alone. Accept the flaws and weaknesses you have and understand that flaws aren’t a problem, but a proof that you are imperfect ~~ and it’s okay to be.

Be sure to also accept the positive sides of yourself, as this would be the most important aspect in finding self-love.

How to love yourself first

  • Love Being Alone: 

As humans, we thrive off of human interactions and socializing, so being alone can definitely sound scary to some people; However, when finding self-love, it is very important to learn how to love being alone.

Don’t necessarily become a hermit and cut the world out, but instead, learn how to embrace your own personal and mental space.

When was the last time you went out to the movies or a restaurant all by yourself? or the last time you traveled all by yourself?

If you haven’t been able to do such things, it’s about time you begin to consider it and step out of your comfort zone.

By being alone, you learn to do things alone and that, in the long run, can start making you embrace yourself a lot more. You find that as time goes on you won’t have to rely on people anymore but yourself. And that creates the strength that is very much required in fully finding self-love.

  • Be Less Of A Giver:

When I talk about being less of a giver, I don’t necessarily mean you should completely neglect the issues of others,—- Rather, learn to put yourself first before others.

If you always find yourself in situations where you’re so much of a giver and it tends to get the best of you, it may be time you start learning how to be somewhat selfish.

With that being said, it’s important you give in a way you don’t end up taking away from yourself. 

Learn to put yourself and your happiness first before others. Most importantly, learn to say “no” in situations that won’t have your best interest. It can be difficult as a giver to always want to be of help to others each time you’re put in the position to, but if being of help only takes away your happiness, then you might want to reconsider your actions.

At the end of the day, you don’t owe anyone reasons for your own happiness, so learn to take care of yourself first.

Tips to love yourself first

  • Learn To Let-go:

Letting go is definitely a difficult thing to do, however, it is very necessary for maintaining that self-love over the long run. When you learn to easily let go of situations, emotions, circumstances, people or places that don’t give you emotional fulfillment, your journey to self-love becomes so much easier.

And this goes back to the point I discussed earlier —learning how to be alone. When you learn how to easily let-go, being alone won’t sound so scary anymore.

Sometimes we hold on because of fear of letting go and stepping into the unknown, without realizing that the unknown could actually be a good thing.

  • Enjoy Doing What You Love:

I decided to put this as the last point because it is very important to enjoy doing all the things you love, especially if you’ve followed all the steps mentioned above.

Make sure you put time and effort into doing the things that make you happy. You will find that you become a lot happier and comfortable when you spend time enjoying the things you love.

Let me know in the comments when you first started your journey to finding self-love.

Till next time,



  1. Anonymous
    August 2, 2018 / 9:07 am

    I totally agree with these points. Self-love brings peace.

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