So for this post, I’m basically just going to talk about finding my identity..
As many of you may know, I grew up in a Christian home with both my mother and father being followers of Christ. But for a long time, I had no idea what it meant to have an identity in Christ.
One would assume that since I have a mother who is a spirit-filled prayer warrior that I would know so much about identity…, but in all honesty, I really had no clue.
So growing up, I found myself constantly asking people for my identity. And once they presented me an identity figure, I would take on the role of the person.
So for example, if someone told me I was good at makeup, I would automatically take on the identity of a makeup artist. And if another person told me I was great at coding, I would add on the identity of a developer.
In addition to that, I would also ask them to tell me things I should change about myself, and quickly proceeded to make such changes. crazy right..?
With time, such practice threw me into a state of exhaustion and rejection. Because I found myself not being good enough to meet up with their standards and expectations.
In today’s society, many people tend to take on the identity of career labels such as doctor, engineer, lawyer… etc.. but for someone like me, my identity came from listening to the opinions of others. I believed that people’s perspective of me said a lot about my identity, and so each time I had the opportunity to use my voice, I found myself waiting for the approval of others.
It was so exhausting living that way…. but since nobody introduced me to the topic of identity, I remained dependent on the opinions of others.
The devil knew very well that not knowing my identity would keep me stuck in that continuous cycle of seeking validation, so he kept on sending more and more people into my life with the spirit of rejection to torment me.
However, it wasn’t until Jesus saved me that I started to know more about my identity. I began to know more about why I was created, whose child I am and most importantly, why I was put here in the first place.
And I also started to understand why I had ended up with certain types of people in my life and why I depended so much on the opinions of others.
Knowing the answers to my “why’s” made me realize that my identity wasn’t just about who I am as a human being, but more about who God says I am as His daughter. Knowing that I wasn’t just created to exist, but created for a purpose was really a huge turning point for me.
My identity makes me care less about what others think, say or even feel about me. Because what really matters is what God says about me and not their opinions of me. And since God thinks I’m amazing, nothing else really matters.
This knowing of who I am in Christ has really boosted my confidence to the point that I barely even seek after the approval of others. Instead, I notice that these days, a lot more people seem to be interested in what I have to say.
Now I see why the enemy worked so hard at trying to keep me in my misery because he knew very well that if I found my identity, I would shake his kingdom. And so he sent all these counterfeits to keep me from discovering myself.
Too bad he lost! hehe.
Till next time,