Father got me today.
Apparently, for a while, I’ve been so rebellious and disobedient. I spent days, weeks and even months trying to cover up and hide my guilt instead of just coming clean about it.
I knew I had turned away from Father and I kept doing things that He didn’t like. On top of it, I was living in guilt and shame, yet I didn’t want to come clean about it.
But Father is so mysterious, He has a way of coming with the gotcha move that one won’t see coming.
Today, He put it in my heart to read the word. And for a while, I kept getting distracted, but eventually, I decided to open it and see what He would say to me.
I ended up reading some chapters in the book of Isaiah and proceeded to read the book of Jeremiah. As I continued reading, I started getting convicted.
His words started speaking to me, and honestly, I knew He had a lot he wanted to say to me that He had saved for this moment.
Some of the verses that stood out to me were:
“I remember how eager you were to please me
as a young bride long ago,
how you loved me and followed me
even through the barren wilderness.” – Jeremiah 2:2
You deliberately sinned—before my very eyes—
and chose to do what you know I despise.” – Isaiah 65:12
Only acknowledge your guilt.
Admit that you rebelled against the Lord your God – Jeremiah 3:13
I looked forward to your calling me ‘Father,’
and I wanted you never to turn from me. – Jeremiah 3:19
My wayward children,” says the Lord,
“come back to me, and I will heal your wayward hearts.” – Jeremiah 3:22
surrender your pride and power.
Change your hearts before the Lord,” – Jeremiah 4:4
Your turning from me will shame you.
You will see what an evil, bitter thing it is
to abandon the Lord your God and not to fear him.
I, the Lord, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!” – Jeremiah 2:19
I can’t even put into words how I feel right now. All I know is that I’ve been rebellious and I kept running away from His presence, chasing after my own desires and being puffed up with pride.
He’s been dealing with me a lot these past few days and humbling me a lot in the process. It’s so nice to see, but I really love the intimacy that is bubbling up in the process.
I don’t want to lose this love that is being poured in my heart from Him at the moment. I don’t want to start seeking after worldly desires, even though sometimes I get worried about having my needs met. Also, I don’t want to shut my heart off again from Him and end up with guilt, shame and comparison, wondering where my next steps are.
I’m falling in love with Father again and He’s doing a deep work in my heart.
Till next time.