So today, I want to have a conversation about dealing with Rejection. And honestly, the reason why I decided to type this post is because I’ve been dealing with rejection for quite a while now. And I know some of you out there might also have a similar experience with me as well. So I hope me exposing my demons can help you guys do the same as well.
So apparently, growing up, I faced a ton of rejection. It was one of those things that sort of started out in childhood and worked its way into my adulthood.
Coming from a family of 6 kids, I was constantly bullied by my siblings and my dad. I was always put under the pressure to perform and each time I failed, I would be rejected. And because of that, I usually would end up seeking validation from people, especially men.
I would get into relationships and would literally give myself off to men, because I felt the need to be loved so badly. It literally got so serious that whenever I got into relationships, I would literally become such a giver to the point that I’d basically do anything to keep my relationships from ending. Some of the things I would do were literally so absurd that even till today, I can’t even fathom why I even decided to do such things.
In addition to that, I used to see sex as the only way to truly offer myself to men. So often times, when I felt like I couldn’t offer anything solid, sex was like the next thing I would rely on.
This even resulted in me getting into a series of physically and emotionally abusive relationships.
This went on for quite a bit, until Christ finally saved me and broke that chain off of me.
For a while in Christ, I was set free and happy. I didn’t feel the need to seek validation anymore and I was pretty much content in who I am in Christ. My identity was intact and I didn’t feel the need to constantly please people, because I cared more about what my heavenly Father thought about me.
However, after a couple months of being saved, I started battling rejection again. It became so bad to the point that I would literally try to talk myself out of getting into relationships because I feared that I could possibly lose my significant other. In addition to that, I lost my dad, so that sort of opened the door to allow the enemy come in with the spirit of rejection to torment me.
I started getting depressed, jealous, fearful and just overall discouraged. It even became so bad to a point that I felt I couldn’t even trust God because I happened to start agreeing with the lie that God would abandon me too.
I would tell myself that I’m not worthy or qualified to be used by God. And I’d even try to run away from serving God because I didn’t feel like I lived up to the expectations that I saw in other ministers.
I would also try to distance myself from certain friends and stay isolated, because I felt if I blended in with them, I’d likely get rejected.
Isn’t it crazy how the enemy works???
I literally lived in this mindset and would often times get super depressed because I became so worried about others opinions of me.
Anger and jealousy then began to set in and I would find myself being so jealous to the point that I started living in comparison. I would compare myself a lot with others, because I basically had an insecurity deep rooted in me that felt like I needed to stand out in order to be loved.
I even got to a point of telling lies and wearing a mask, pretending to be someone I’m not, because I didn’t know my identity.
This character was so strange to me that I literally had to take it to God and ask Him to help me. Because I honestly wasn’t myself.
Thankfully, the Lord started revealing some things to me. One of it being the spirit of rejection.
Apparently, I’ve been fighting this spirit of rejection for a while now and I’ve basically been letting it dictate my life. Sometimes, I would even convince myself that marriage wasn’t for me and even go as far as pushing the idea of relationships away because I was so afraid of rejection.
I even faced the pressure of needing to prove myself in public because I felt like I wouldn’t get accepted if I just happened to be seen as ordinary. And because of it, I was feeding the pride within me that loves seeking attention and would go as far as being impressed with my own wisdom– thinking I could do a much better job than others.
Lust on the other hand even started to creep in again and I’d catch myself thinking that sex was the only good thing I could get and offer in relationships, because I felt so rejected that the idea of love was pretty much non-existent to me.
But thank you Jesus this stupid spirit was identified.
Because if it wasn’t, I probably would have allowed the enemy destroy me with such a negative mindset.
With that being said, if you’re currently facing the spirit of rejection, I want you to focus on finding your identity in Christ first and foremost. If it has been stolen from you, go back to the feet of God and tell Him to tell you who you are.
Also, expose the demons. Speak out about what you’re experiencing and try to be more transparent with others (especially those in the body of Christ). The enemy wants to keep you shut so that you won’t be transparent to expose his agenda. However, it’s important you know that darkness hides while light shines. So go ahead and shine a light on your struggles and allow healing to flow.
Try not to isolate yourself as well. Isolation is the enemy’s biggest weapon and he won’t mind dealing with you after you’ve been cut off from a body. So it’s important you find a local group you can be a part of.
Often times, people who suffer from rejection and abandonment tend to believe that others won’t accept them, so they end up isolating themselves a lot to prevent hurting. But I want to encourage you and let you know that all that is just fluff the devil tries to throw at you.
Stop believing that people will reject you, instead, try to see the positives in everything. Think of how you can contribute in some way, instead of worrying about if you would be liked or not. At the end of the day, you matter way more to God.. and that alone should be your motivation.
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