So recently, Father has been hinting the dating idea on my mind and honestly, it’s been very funny to even think about. Each time I scroll on youtube and I see couples talking about weddings or dating, I literally feel like I need to vomit. The thought not only irritates me but scares me as well.
Growing spiritually has changed the way I view so many things, including relationships. And these days, the idea of dating seems very discouraging to the point that I’m battling if I should consider it or not. Father has been teaching me a lot about godly relationships, but I can’t just seem to shake off the feeling of not wanting to date.
I’ve become so used to being around Father so much that I can’t even fathom dating someone who doesn’t know Him the way I do. I have found myself turning down most guys who have tried to date me simply because they don’t have a strong relationship with Him (even though they claim to).
I’ve also found myself not being interested in most men because I pick up on demonic activities a lot in some of them. So it makes the dating game a bit more challenging for me. And also, Holy Spirit always tells me to cut them off because they’ve been sent by the enemy which makes it even more difficult to trust them.
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Single vs Dating
The other day I remember telling Father how much I wanted to remain single because I felt somewhat reluctant about dating – but then He told me to read Genesis 2 and emphasised chapter 18 which says “it is not good for man to be alone. I will make him a helper who is just right for him”. And as if that wasn’t enough for me to get the message that singleness is not for me, He led me again to read Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 which says “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. But the person who falls alone is in real trouble”
I know Father wants me to step out and meet the man He has for me, but I noticed that I’m too cautious these days about stepping out. So even when He brings the right man my way, I’m more than likely going to turn Him down.
The good thing though about all this is that Holy Spirit is going to tell me who the right man is when he comes around, so I’m not too worried about it. At the same time, I feel like I may not be too interested since Father has taken over my heart. But who knows? Anything could happen!
I’ve been away from the dating world for a short while now, and so far it has had its ups and downs. Some moments can feel lonely while other moments can be absolutely great, but one thing I’m learning from all this is to enjoy being single.
Father has been showing me that I haven’t really had the chance to be single for a long time now so taking this singleness step to be alone has taught me a lot about myself and my identity. I’m learning that I’m fully complete with Him, and no man can ever complete me the way He does. I’ve also grown so much in wisdom and understanding as well as being patient with people. I find that I rarely lash out on people these days and I tend to access myself a lot in order to make sure I have no evil intentions in my heart.
Love is a beautiful thing
Father has worked so much on my heart. He healed all my heartbreaks and made me gain an understanding of love, which I feel like I never truly understood for a long time (even when I thought I did). And these days I tend to love way more than I ever did. He has made my heart so tender, hence why He wants me to guard it as much as possible. At least until He brings the right man my way.
The funny thing is, I’m not even looking for the right man! I’m more or less looking for a friend to spend the rest of my life with. A friend who loves Him as much as I do. Because if I’m being honest, love shouldn’t be saved for one person. It should be shared with every person. And now I understand why Paul said “Don’t just pretend to love others, really love them” – Romans 12:9
So to me, dating/marriage is more of looking for that one friend that I would love to accomplish purpose with. I would love to cast out demons with him, soak in the presence of Father with him, perform miracles, signs and wonders with him, lead people to Christ with him, and most importantly love Father more with him. And if we get blessed— most likely grow a family up together in the Lord. That’s really what I’m looking for.
That may not be what most people see dating or marriage as, but from spending most of my waking and sleeping moments with Father, that’s really what I’d want from dating.
Until then, singleness is not that bad (hehe)
Till next time,