Lately the word transparent has been standing out to me like crazy. I feel like every single book I open basically highlights that keyword to me, and for some reason I’ve been feeling this urge to speak about it.
I told you guys how I decided to completely ditch faith posts due to how vulnerable and transparent I had to be while writing those posts. But after a while of really sitting down and thinking about it, I came to this realization. My transparency is someone else’s encouragement.
With social media and online bullying, it can be somewhat difficult to stay transparent when everyone seems to always have an opinion. However, I noticed that the more I became transparent on the blog, the more I became an encouragement to others. It’s fascinating and scary at the same time, because although there was encouragement, there was still a form of bullying associated with it as well.
I’m definitely not coming on here to announce I’m reviving faith posts, because I’m TOTALLY NOT. Instead, I came here to be more transparent about other things in my life that I truly feel like a lot of you might be able to relate to.
I also want to use this opportunity to say thank you to my recent blog subscribers, you guys truly mean a lot to me, and I’m glad to slowly see this community grow over time.
How is Eleanor really like?
Short answer: Weird
I. AM. TOTALLY. WEIRD.
On another note, if you want me to really break down that term and define it in my own words I would say,
And if I could add an ‘S’ to it, I’d probably say spiritual. But I’m pretty sure that’s already obvious to most of you by now, so I’m not even going to address it.
By workaholic, I’m not referring to the average 9-5 job. In fact, I absolutely HATE IT!.. I can’t count how many times I’ve told myself I would never remain in the cooperate world.
Instead, what I mean by that is the fact that I am always working on making an income. And this can be through any means possible. I like making money and I focus my time and energy on how I can make more income for myself and my family. In fact, I truly believe my calling is business (hence why I quit ministry) because Lord knows how obsessed I am with business.
If I’m not working or doing something with my life, I legit freak out. Because idleness scares the guts out of me.
I have been given a gift of creativity, so I’m constantly always loaded with ideas of what I could possibly do to bring in income.
Not to brag or anything, but I do have a chunk of knowledge about so many things. I love reading and learning. I even taught myself how to code and build websites. It’s something that is naturally a part of me, and I embrace it.
On the other hand, I’m also an Engineer as well. Although I don’t really consider myself the best in my field, I still find the discipline very fascinating and it’s something I’m proud of.
I do get insecure sometimes but I’m working so hard on it. I notice these days I’m actually becoming more and more confident in myself, especially after I started putting myself out there and taking more risks. But it doesn’t change the fact that on some days I struggle with insecurities. I did talk about a few of mine in my last post (in case you were wondering), and talking about them publicly helps me a lot.
Is this the part where I get to say I have a ton of stretch marks around my hip area? Okay maybe not….
But..I am a very real person, and I don’t sugarcoat the truth. For a long time I used to be so quiet and closed off with everything, but life taught me a lot of lessons, so these days I’m as real as I can be. This part of me is actually pretty offensive to a lot of people, because I tend to say exactly what’s in my heart, and sometimes what I say doesn’t get filtered. I’ve even lost friends because of this. But I mean, I rather be real and hurt feelings than be fake and insincere right ?
Oh boy! I am a drama queen. I love attention, and when I don’t get it… LOOOOOOOOOL …… IT IS OVER!!! I can’t even tell you how many times God has dealt with that pride in me that likes attention so much. He’ll probably keep dealing with me till the day I die. lmao..
But in all honesty, I need to freaking calm down in this area. It takes a lot of pruning, but with time, I’d get over it.
So this is really me, and I decided to be very raw and transparent on this post, I hope you guys can share some of yours too..
Till next time,