So yesterday, I took a short trip back to memory lane. I basically went through a few of my old blog posts (before salvation) and honestly, it was so disgusting to look at.
Looking at each title, I could barely recognize the girl behind the posts. Because being the Christian that I am now, it was very difficult to look back and see that I was once so blinded.
I kept asking the Lord (while hitting the delete button) “Where the heck were you when I was this lost?” and for a moment I had to pause and realize that I was a sinner.
Eleanor Ajoku Died Long Ago
To be very honest, I don’t recognize that girl who idolized beauty and cared a lot about makeup. And I also don’t recognize that girl who used to be depressed all the time because the world sucked so much. Most importantly, I don’t remember that girl who used to be so ambitious and focused so much on wealth and making a name for herself.
Because that girl is dead now.
Going back through memory lane showed me that in Christ we truly are a new creation. The old me is basically dead and it’s now Christ who lives in me that lives. I had to do a total DELETE on my blog and I guess things are now starting to come together nicely.
Sometimes, I look back and just tell myself “why the heck wasn’t I saved long ago? Why did it take this long? I know God kept chasing me down for a while, but why the heck didn’t I pay attention the first time?”
I had to understand that back then, people around me always made Christianity seem so religious and boring. In fact, the thought of actually wanting to live for Christ wasn’t something I found very interesting. And because of that, I seemed to love the darkness way more than I did the light.
I didn’t really know much about living in the light because growing up, all I knew were the basic teachings of Christ and no teachings about intimacy.
So because of that lack of knowledge, I always assumed Jesus was just so distant. I had this shallow understanding of scripture and I honestly had no one to tell me about knowing Him.
Most importantly, I had no one to inform me about the fun parts of Christianity that involved having multiple Heaven visits, dining with Jesus and chasing angels. I thought all these things only had to happen after physical death.
It wasn’t until Father finally handpicked me from my misery that I got to see this whole new fun part of Christianity. I mean, why wouldn’t anyone want to be a Christian? It’s absolute fun and freedom. Plus, Jesus is just so amazing !!!
If I knew then what I know now, I would have never made most of the mistakes I did in the past. I wouldn’t have allowed the enemy use people to try and ruin my life, and I most definitely wouldn’t have gone into makeup and created this blog.
But Father has a way of turning past mistakes around for His glory, so I’m glad that Eleanor eventually got to die.
I was baptized on the 1st of September, 2018 so I guess that becomes my new date of birth because if I’m being honest, I really do not remember my old dead self.
All I know these days is Joy with no trace of sadness whatsoever, so I can’t even fathom how that girl was able to live in such misery.
The devil is truly a con artist!
Till next time,