I’ve recently been fighting one of my biggest enemy in the face–Fear. It hasn’t been the easiest enemy to fight, but recently I decided that enough was enough.
Before the battle even began, Father led me to read “Seeing behind the veil” by Ana Werner. As I opened the book and began to read, He started speaking..
“Your promise is here, but you have to address something first”
And as He spoke those words, I began to ask myself “What do I need to address?” “What could I be possibly doing wrong?”And before I could even finish pondering, the word “Fear” kept resounding in my spirit.
Sadly, for the past couple months, I’ve been putting on Fear like a garment, giving it complete control over my life and calling.
Whenever Father sent me on a quest, I would disobey and run away out of Fear–thinking I would be judged and ridiculed because I didn’t have a voice. To even blog and film was such a struggle for me because I was so afraid of what others would think if I stepped out and boldly spoke about my Faith.
In fact, the moment I started to realize that people were reading my blog, I’d run away and delete all my posts because I didn’t want to get noticed. And because I had dealt with rejection so much in my past, I automatically concluded in my heart that people would dislike my articles.
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Sometimes I would even wish people will stop reading my posts so that I could feel more confident in my own little space on the internet. But seeing as that wasn’t happening, Fear kept covering me like a cloak– forcing me to hold back and act like I had it all together.
Fear or Faith?
Being the patient God that Father is, He decided to take me through a journey of breaking and stripping to completely deliver me from the Fear of man. Many times in the painful process, I will cry out to Him “I’m done, I don’t want to do this, I can’t do it..” Other times I will beg Him to kill me, because I lacked fulfilment and the Fear kept preventing me from expressing myself.
In addition, the enemy kept fueling the Fear by using people to speak lies about me, which further caused me shrink back and run. But God is so faithful, that even in the mist of all my Fears, He kept trying to set me free.
2 days ago, Holy Spirit woke me up to read Proverbs 29:25. As I opened the scripture, I started getting convicted.
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe” – Proverbs 29:25
I read it over and over again and started repenting for all the times I chose fear over faith. And I later prayed renouncing Fear and choosing Faith.
I eventually got the revelation that having a Fear of man is actually idolatry, because it places man’s opinion at the center instead of God’s opinion. And if I continued to wear it on like a garment, I wouldn’t walk in my true identity and gifting.
It’s so nice to know that Abba Daddy cares about some of the things I sometimes struggle with. And it’s wonderful to see the breakthrough that has come with His refinement.
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” – Hebrews 13:6
Will you break off the Fear of man today?